7 March 1996, the day my life changed forever

I lost my dad on this day 25 years ago, exactly 3 months after his 41st birthday, he was murdered and it changed me...

I grew up in a happy family with a loving mother and father, one younger sister and one older brother. Our family was close, my mom was a housewife and my dad was successful in his career, he travelled a lot but when he was home he was very hands on. We went on family holidays every year and he was a loving and devoted husband to my mom and a loving and caring father to me and my siblings. Life was good.

Then on the evening of 7 March 1996 my life changed forever, my dad got sick while he was sleeping, my mom was panicking and this woke us up. We jumped out of bed and ran to their bedroom, my dad was acting strange and he seemed like he didn't know what was going on. Someone phoned the ambulance and they rushed him to hospital but he did not make it...he was poisoned... 

I was a 17 year old girl when my dad was taken from us and it broke me, I turned to alcohol, relationships, partying and clubbing to numb the pain and fill that empty void in my life. To the outside world I was always laughing and smiling and the life of the party, the last one standing but inside I was full of pain, sadness, heartache, anger and bitterness. I got involved in emotionally abusive relationships and eventually the relationships turned to physical abuse as well. I got involved with a man who was 24 years my senior and I fell pregnant with my twin boys. The relationship was extremely toxic and I eventually left him in 2005 when my boys were still babies. I moved back to live with my family, my mom was there to help me raise my baby boys and I went back to my life of partying but it felt wrong because I was a mom now and I started feeling guilty. I also felt like I was chasing something and trying to fill a void in my life with the things of the world and it was not working.  

And one day when I just could not keep up the facade anymore I cried out to Jesus to help me and I repented... He healed me, gave me the peace that surpasses all understanding and saved my life from self-destruction, He became my Father. ❤️🙏 I have forgiven my father's murderers, they have to answer to God one day... I'm just grateful for the wonderful years I had with my amazing dad. 

Rest in Peace Daddy, forever in my heart...

I also want to encourage anyone who went through trauma or who is currently going through a struggle... You can get through it...with Jesus... I am a living testimony. 

 ❤️💕

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