PART 2: Becoming the Woman I Needed — Breaking Cycles, Building Strength, and Becoming Myself

There comes a moment in every woman’s life where she looks at her reflection and realizes:

“I can’t stay who I was. I have to become who I’m meant to be.”

My own transformation never arrived in one big moment.
It came quietly, slowly, and in the middle of everyday life — through heartbreak, through motherhood, through loss, and eventually through fitness.

But every step led me closer to the woman I am now: stronger, softer, wiser, more intentional, and fiercely focused on becoming my best self.

1. The Awakening — Understanding That Feeling “Stuck” Isn’t Permanent

Losing my dad suddenly at 17 was the earthquake that cracked my entire world open.
He was 41.
I was still a child myself.
And life didn’t come with a manual on how to survive that kind of loss.

When the foundation is ripped out from under you so young, you start searching for stability anywhere you can find it:

  • relationships

  • attention

  • partying

  • alcohol

  • anything that feels like comfort, even if it’s temporary

I didn’t realize back then that I was trying to fill a void that grief had carved into my life.

And for a long time, I lived in that cycle.
Surviving… but not living.

2. My Mom — The Woman Whose Strength Held Our Family Together

Through every messy chapter, one constant remained: my mom.

A single mother raising children while carrying her own heartbreak.
A woman who carried the weight of the world but still smiled.
A woman who had every reason to give up, but never did.
A woman whose faith didn’t scream — it shined.

My mom prayed over us.
She guided us gently.
She introduced me to God — not through pressure or fear, but through love, example, and consistency.
Even when I drifted far from the path, her prayers never stopped covering me.

She showed me what real strength looks like:

  • not loud

  • not dramatic

  • not perfect

But steady.
Patient.
Unshakable.

Her strength stayed in the background of my life like a quiet reminder:
“You come from a strong woman. You can get up too.”

And eventually, I did.

3. Becoming a Mom — The Turning Point That Changed Everything

Falling pregnant with my twin boys was the moment life pulled me into a new direction.
Not the “everything is now fixed” direction…
but the “you have something to live for” one.

There’s something about holding your babies for the first time that forces your priorities to shift:

  • suddenly you want better

  • suddenly you think deeper

  • suddenly you realize these little humans are watching you

My sons didn’t save me — but they gave me a powerful reason to save myself.

Motherhood grounded me.
It softened me.
It matured me.
It made me hungry for growth.

And slowly, I began rebuilding myself.

4. Running — My First Real Taste of Strength and Freedom

My fitness journey didn’t begin with dumbbells or gyms.
It began on the road — with running.

Running gave me something I didn’t even know I needed:

  • a sense of control

  • a release

  • clarity

  • discipline

  • freedom

Every kilometer taught me something:

  • I can endure.

  • I can push through.

  • I can show up even on the days I don’t feel like it.

Running became my therapy.
It was the first time I felt like I was choosing myself.

But as empowering as running was, eventually I wanted something more.
Not just endurance… but strength.
Not just escape… but transformation.

And that’s when the real shift happened.

5. Strength Training — The Chapter That Changed Everything

Transitioning from running to strength training was the moment my entire fitness identity evolved.

Lifting weights didn’t just tone my body — it rebuilt my mind.

Suddenly:

  • I stood taller.

  • I moved with confidence.

  • I believed in myself more.

  • I felt stronger than I ever had — physically and emotionally.

In my 40s, I became the strongest, leanest, and most empowered version of myself.

Strength training didn’t just shape muscle — it shaped character.

It reminded me that I wasn’t the girl who lost her dad.
I wasn’t the woman who chased validation.
I wasn’t the woman trapped in cycles.
I wasn’t the woman who felt stuck.

I was becoming someone new — someone powerful.

6. Rebuilding Myself — One Choice at a Time

Somewhere in this journey — between raising twin boys, running, lifting, healing, and growing — I realized something life-changing:

No one was coming to save me.
Not a man.
Not a relationship.
Not a job.
Not a stroke of luck.

I had to become the hero of my own life.

And once I started choosing myself:

  • opportunities appeared

  • clarity came

  • purpose surfaced

  • my confidence grew

  • my voice strengthened

  • and doors opened that once felt locked

When you build yourself from the inside out, life responds.

7. What I Want Every Woman Who Feels “Stuck” to Know

If you’re reading this and you feel stuck in your life — please hear this from someone who has lived it:

You are not stuck.
You are in the middle of becoming.

And while I’m still growing in my walk with God, I can honestly say this:
Every time I chose to grow, heal, and strengthen myself… I could feel that God was gently guiding me in the background.
Not through perfection, not through religion, but through timing, alignment, and grace.

Sometimes God works quietly.
Sometimes the shift is subtle.
Sometimes He strengthens you through experiences.
Sometimes He sends a praying mother to cover you until you’re ready to find your own way.

So if you feel stuck, start here:

1. Build yourself.

Emotionally. Mentally. Physically.

2. Move your body.

Run. Lift. Walk. Just begin.

3. Allow room for God to guide you — even if you're still figuring it out.

You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to be willing.

Because becoming your best self is not about having it all together —
it’s about taking the first step.



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